When Dysfunction Becomes the Norm - How to Recognize You’ve Lost Yourself in Unhealthy Environments

Today I'm inspired by a powerful post on LinkedIn by Cynthia Mathieu, Ph.D. that said:“Trying to fit into a toxic culture when you don’t align with its values will make you sick.”

That one line hit deep. Because I’ve seen it — and felt it — in clients, organizations, relationships, and even in myself. 🫤

Have you ever looked around and thought, “How did I end up here?”Or maybe more quietly, “I don’t even recognize myself anymore.” Whether it’s in a workplace, a family dynamic, a friendship, or even in society at large — dysfunction can become so normalized that we stop noticing it. We adapt. We make excuses. We minimize our pain. And somewhere along the way, we disconnect from who we truly are.

Dysfunction Has Many Faces

Unhealthy environments aren’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes, they’re made up of subtle (yet deeply damaging) behaviors and power dynamics.

These include:

• Being dismissed or belittled when you express yourself

• Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells around certain people

• Experiencing manipulation, gaslighting, or controlling behaviors

• Working in a culture that rewards overworking, hierarchy, or ego-driven leadership

• Being surrounded by those who lack empathy, compassion, or emotional intelligence

• Losing your voice in a group that encourages conformity over authenticity

  
  

This can happen in workplaces, families, social circles — even in systems and institutions that shape our daily lives. And when we’re exposed to this energy long enough, it starts to chip away at us. We become quieter. Smaller. More compliant. We might question our instincts, suppress our creativity, or lose trust in ourselves. We start to perform instead of live. We over-give, over-function, over-adapt — often just to survive. 😥

The Impact? You Lose Sight of You

Living within dysfunctional systems — especially ones that reward power-over, disconnection, and surface-level achievement — can cause us to slowly abandon parts of ourselves.

You might feel:

• Emotionally drained, anxious, or constantly tense

• Unseen or unheard, no matter how hard you try

• Numb to your own needs and desires

• Disconnected from your joy, purpose, or natural rhythm

• Like you’ve been living someone else’s life — not your own

This isn’t your fault. It’s what happens when we’ve been in survival mode for too long.

But you don’t have to stay there.

It’s Time to Come Back to Yourself

Healing begins with awareness. And awareness begins with asking honest, compassionate questions:

• Who am I beneath all the roles I’ve been playing?

• What have I been tolerating that no longer serves me?

• Where did I learn to stay quiet, small, or agreeable?

• What parts of me have I silenced — and how can I begin to reclaim them?

These questions aren’t easy. But they are liberating.

They help you remember who you are — not who you were conditioned to be.

A Day to Remember Yourself

If this resonates, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to navigate it alone either.

That’s exactly why I created “Find Yourself Again”, a one-day experience designed to help you reconnect with your inner truth.

Through reflective journaling, gentle movement (Qigong), guided visualization, and meaningful activities, you’ll be invited to:

• Reclaim your voice and power

• Release suppressed emotions

• Realign with who you truly are — beneath all the layers

Find Yourself Again 1-Day Retreat

📅 Saturday, June 21st, 2025 - Summer Solstice ☀️

🕤 9:30 AM to 4:00 PM

📍 11 High St Vankleek Hill ON

🙌 This 1-day retreat is only $65

🎫 To register or receive more info, send an email to julie@juliericher.com

If you've been feeling out of alignment — this day is for you.

Let’s help you remember what it feels like to be fully, unapologetically you.

Warmly,

Julie